Monday, December 16, 2013

HEY you!! YEAH you! Self righteous bitch!

First Go here! Read this!

Omg.. When my kids were babies I struggled with Breast feeding.. With my oldest,1,  my milk was leaking out at 5 months pregnant. I seriously was cutting maxi pads in half to soak that shit up.. most of the time I ended up with a wet shirt but it lasted longer! Anyway, the night she was born after a horrifying C-section and near death experience, my milk "came in" with a vengeance.... My breasts swelled up like watermelons about to burst...OMG PAIN. And I was already on narcotics!  Anyway the nurses got really really hot cloths put them on my chest until the flood of milk, and I started breast feeding... while on narcotics... as you can imagine this did not work out well.. She would fall asleep 5 minutes in, I assume from the mouthful of PERCODIN she was ingesting!! (Oh! And I found out later, the nurses were giving her “supplemental” formula in the nursery!! No wonder she wouldn’t eat!)  But I kept trying, and the Le LEACHE psychos kept bugging me.. I mean I don’t know about you, but the way I was raised you do NOT let a stranger grab your bare breast and squeeze the fuck out of it… STRANGER DANGER!!!!  So after a leisurely 9 days in the hospital I was sent home, 20 yrs old with a newborn and huge breasts with which to feed her…and narcotics.. Thank God for my mom! So 2 nights later, my boobs have once again swelled up and are hard as rocks, I can’t get the baby to eat.. my mom is out.. and I start to hallucinate… Breast Fever… ? .. Had no idea THAT could happen!! My temp when my mom got back an hour or so later was 105… IDK what happened but she fixed it.. and I gave up on breast feeding about 2 weeks later.. back then “88 you just went to your Dr and they gave you a shot to dry up your milk.. But those Stalking Le Leache psychos continued to call me sometimes twice a day to get me to “reconsider”!! I finally got them to stop calling when I told them I was going to call the cops for their harassing me.. I mean seriously I was already freaking out, had post partum depression.. “baby blues” we called it, the last thing I needed was these people making me feel like the worst mother alive for stopping breast feeding!

After the second kid, 2,  4 years later I was a little more prepared. Shut the Le Leache bitches down the first day, ended up breast feeding for 5 almost 6 months.. till the driving need for alcohol was answered!! Honestly? I did feel a bit superior to all of those Formula feeders! I was sucked into the hype.. I was a better mother because I was breast feeding!! HA! Looking down my nose at them, I tripped over my own foolish feet and realized that no matter how I did it, I was the only thing my kids knew and no matter how I fed them, I was doing it right. Well, unless you count that time I put the Pepsi in 2’s bottle cus she would leave me alone… Hey I was at the good part of the book!
My final child,3, was a shock. I was expecting to be able to do this again, hands tied behind my back No Problem… LOL.. Did you know that  boys are different than girls in EVERY way????? Thank you  S-I-L JA who answered my every panicked call no matter how late… Breast feeding lasted 3 weeks… And I did not give a rats ass who thought it sucked.. I NEEDED BEER! And to not have a kid hanging off of me every waking moment….
No matter if you Breast Feed or do not IT IS YOUR BOOB!! Tell the busybody’s who think they know it all to FUCK OFF or better yet hand your screaming kid to them and say “if you know so much YOU DO IT!!”, ok that one should probably be reserved to people you actually know… omg if a stranger said something about my breast feeding or lack thereof,  I would have punched them!  
Turns out I got Breast Cancer anyway so THAT myth is debunked!
 And to the blog that caused this blog…THANK YOU!!!