Friday, July 19, 2013

Good news for me, a new baby in the family! Bad news for my friend she lost her companion of 17 yrs to this fucking bullshit called cancer... Is this a checks and balances example? Cuz if it is? FUCK YOU! I want off this damn ride!

It spins and spins and I just want the world to stop for a minute, long enough to catch my breath.

Saturday, July 6, 2013


Oh fuck this! My joints hurt, my feet are on fire, I have forgotten what its like to pick something up and not promptly drop it, my brain is in a fog, sleep is not coming.  I'm exhausted and every time I close my eye all I can think about is the stupid weird zappy pains I get and WHAT DO THEY MEAN??? I just saw the Onc she seems to thing all is fine but I still worry constantly. If the cancer doesn't come back I'm sure one of these bastard ass drugs are going to kill me.  Switched to Lyrica for the neuropathy and its making me fat. Experimenting with Aderall to see if it will help with the Chemobrain. I'm seriously tired of trying to remember which drug to take when and seriously? is this helping me??? Ugh. I just want to be a little bit like I used to be but I guess I have to face it, my body thinks I'm 90 and I really just want to take a walk, straight up, not bent halfway over and no limping! Ha!!