I keep trying to remember this, but it’s hard. I’m angry and I have these moments of pure rage. How do I learn to put things “away”?

I have been trying to concentrate on my jewelry and my sleepless nights seem to be very productive. Productive and painful! Last night I finished one piece and started another, very happy with the results but today I am paying for it!! My hands are stiff and painful today along with my knees and feet. I’ve taken more Vicodan in the past 2 days than I have in the last month!

I do not know if the physical problems are side effects= I have increased pain in my hands and feet, numbness in my fingers, worsening peripheral neuropathy? Swelling in my knee, which makes them so hard to move and stand up from sitting had to have fluid drained out of my knee and now both are swelled, This has been going on for almost 2 weeks.. … I recently switched to Aromason from Tamoxifin (because of the side effects) so is it the stupid anticancer drugs or is this sudden onset arthritis?? Anyone else having this?? The company does not list this as any “known” side effect but that, as we all know, means nothing. Please help!!   

Everyday a reminder.

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/types/recur_metast/where_recur?ap=835

 

Quote

"Living with the fear of breast cancer is having a whale move into your living room. One day, it just appears and is always in the way. Over time, the whale can get smaller, but it never quite goes away. Maybe, sometimes, it gets down to the size of a magazine rack and once in a while you bump into it. Sometimes, it swells up in your face again, like when you have a mammogram and they call you back for extra views."
—Barbara

 

 

True, everyday there is a reminder.

WTF is wrong with me???

 I am an emotional bag of rage and sorrow.

I’ve been sick all week with a sinus infection, I lost my voice after an 8 hour band practice Sunday and the doc told me Monday no using my voice for at least 48 hours, till the antibiotics kick in, which was yesterday, so we were suppose to have practice tonight ( Thursday ), We have a big show Saturday and instead of practice I got in a huge fight with the bass player, who by the way is a HUGE ASS SUCKING JACKWAGON, so I walked out, started walking home cuz my ride wasn’t answering the phone and now my feet are on fire my hands are numb & tingly and my head is all stuffed up again. AND there is a blizzard on the way.. cuz we are booked to play and no one will come cuz of the snow.. SO now I’m going to go back to my craft room and cry some more cuz I swear by all that is holy I have PMS and I haven’t had THOSE parts in 4 years!! Maybe its sympathetic baby blues? My daughter is pregnant overly emotional and maybe thats rubbing off... IDK all I know is I am a raging bag of emotions and the SOL is all freaked out cuz he thinks he did something, and I’m just not talkin cuz he didn’t do anything but I will most certainly take it out on him cuz he is closest! . Ugh. Sorry. Thanks for reading the vent.... Hope your night is better! Oh yeah, Happy Valentines Day! SOL got me roses and a sweet card! Poor guy. :'(
 I'm a mess. And I say “cuz” a lot … What’s up with that??
I am still doing the show on Saturday I just really wonder if it’s all going to be worth it in the end. I “embarrassed” my sister, and “I should be ashamed of myself”. So I guess we shall see how this goes.  
What do you do when your dream is in your grasp but is swiftly being pulled out of your hands? We have worked so hard for so long. Damn.

BUSY, BUSY BUSY!

So, I have been busy busy busy! The band is taking off finally! we have dates booked and lots of practice, LOL we even have groupies!! The last show we did I had so many people coming up asking where we were playing again and promicing they would be there.  Crossin my fingers, this next weekend needs to have a big turn out!!

I've also been working a bunch on my new obsession, Steampunk. I dont know what the deal is but I just cant get enough of the little watch parts and tearing watches apart, weird I know but the jewelry so far has turned out really cool! Pic to follow!

Opened a new storefront as well :

Luulla:

 http://www.luulla.com/user/29697/store

and of course Etsy:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/kishajorgenson?ref=top_trail

and Listia :

https://www.listia.com/signup/2426147

Come on in! Check it out! Buy stuff! I can custom create as well!

Cuz, well, I AM THE BOMB!! lol!

 

Huge Statement Necklace

                                                           Mid-size functioning Locket

And then he replied...

Kisha and I have had 4 years of complete happiness, and then we met. You know, a relationship requires commitment, but then again, so does insanity. Seriously though, Kisha is a good woman, she always forgives me when she’s wrong and rarely calls the police when I flash people in the park… OK, here’s what... really happened. One day Kisha and a co-worker were laughing at the losers on a dating site when her co-worker came across a picture and exclaimed “I dated that douchebag!” So as a cruel practical joke she fixed us up and told Kisha to take me out to see a country music band and even funnier, bring a friggin’ chaperone! Well, guess what, the joke is on you Tina, the joke is on you!! Because within minutes of meeting her I had already gotten her to 3rd base! Third Base Bar and Grill in La Porte that is…

Kidding aside… Today is our 4 year anniversary; we’ve had some really great times, and faced some tough challenges. Together we’ve partied until sunrise, stood on the Golden Gate Bridge, snuggled on the couch watching movies, and as an encore we even kicked cancer’s ass! Even though we drive each other crazy sometimes I know that together we can overcome anything and have a sense of humor about it. I wouldn’t trade the last 4 years for anything and I look forward to many more years of us growing together. I heard her sing on our first date, tonight I will hear her sing again, and how can you beat that?

Happy Anniversary Sweetie!! I Love You!!

Happy Annivarsary!!

Four years ago today, I went on a date with a sweet, funny guy who I thought was just a little too “nice”. I didn’t know much about him, other than my friend knew him and said he was a good guy.  He didn’t complain that night when I dragged him to a dive bar to listen to a country band, (He HATES country music!)  He didn’t complain and even seemed to have fun when I then dragged him to a hole-in-the-wall bar to meet my strange friends and sing Karaoke. Hours later, he kissed me goodnight next to my car in the freezing cold, all the while knowing my friends were watching us to make sure I was safe.  

I wasn’t sure I would go out with him again when I left that night, I didn’t know if either of us was going to take a chance and see if one date would turn into more….. It did.

This wonderful man stood by my side through Breast Cancer and never wavered. He was there both times they took me off to surgery, held my hand thru chemo and radiation, went to every doctor’s appointment, asked questions, took notes and researched every procedure. He explained things to my kids and family when I couldn’t; made sure that I had anything I wanted or needed for a year of treatments then again helped me when I had to have reconstructive surgery twice in 3 months on my hand. He supports me in everything I do or want to do.

He puts up with my family and the drama that comes with it, treats my children as if they are his own and has infinite patience.

 He understands me like no one ever has.

I know that I would have never gotten through the last two years without this wonderful man. I do not know how I got so lucky!

 Every day I thank whatever force brought us together and I don’t think I could love anyone more. If ever there was the perfect person for me, he is it, my heart, my soul, my world, my everything. I hope that we have many more happy years together!

Thank you my love for being everything I ever needed, and for that very first date, four years ago today..

 Happy Anniversary!!!  I love you!!

Guess the quote!!! *Prize* to winner!

“We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.”------ ???-------

 

This is a really great quote, I wish everyone followed, but you may be surprised to learn where it comes from.  You figure it out, or know it, put your answers in the comment section, winner gets a prize*!!

 

 

 

 

*(Prize is just the personal satisfaction of being a smarty pants!)